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FEELING NUMB

Writer's picture: michaelmarshallstory.orgmichaelmarshallstory.org

“Equality requires acknowledgment of inequality.”


When I read Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor’s dissenting opinion recently, I was reminded of a period that spanned the late 1950s through the mid-1960s when our country was in the throes of a struggle to make the world a better place for all its citizens. I was young then, between five and ten years old. I can still recall incident after incident depicted on black & white television, where someone white was assaulting a person of color.

I recall the television news stories about young Black kids being taunted and harassed for having a desire to learn, jeered for wanting to go to a school that offered crisp new books to read, and ridiculed for having a burning desire to learn in a modern, clean facility.


I remember being enrolled in the “white” school in 1957 with my older sister, Jackie. We were the first in our family to attend an integrated elementary school. As we approached the stately tan brick building and entered its freshly painted halls, I noted the beautifully waxed floors reflecting the globes of hallway lights. Those first few days were tentative and uneasy. Jackie’s grip on my 5-yr old hand forced me to pay attention to white men and white women watching us enter their space. The untested look of confidence that Jackie wore told me something about the moment. I didn’t fully understand why she was scared. But I do remember asking her if I should be afraid too.


Most often, the images burned into my psyche were those of protestors being fire-hosed and beaten with clubs as they held placards and posters calling for fair treatment. Fair treatment, fair access, fair housing, fair jobs, fair schools, fair laws. When we put “fair” in front of another word, images are conjured up in our minds. It’s easy to imagine fair treatment. We all know what fair treatment looks like. We all know what fair treatment feels like. We all know what fair treatment sounds like. Yet, our world was full of situations and examples of people treating one another unfairlyun.


Today, this unfair treatment includes our own United States Supreme Court.


In a recent court decision, the majority struck down affirmative action in college admissions, ruling the use of race conscious practices unconstitutional. While there were cases challenging the original Court decision – and upheld during the past 40-years, it was this recent challenge that prompted Justice Sotomayor to respond with strong language stating that the majority opinion was…” grounded in the illusion that racial inequality was a problem of a different generation.”

My dad used to say that o-p-p-o-r-t-u-n-i-t-y is an eleven-letter word. For him to take advantage of the available opportunities, he would first need to learn how to spell the word. His seventh-grade education could only take him so far. He would be among the first to share that people of color lived without real opportunity for centuries. We were viewed as an inferior race for generations. But as each generation progressed, we became better at recognizing, creating, and taking advantage of chances to become better versions of ourselves. We would go as far as we could. In fact, we would eventually become President of the United States. College admissions must maintain a key position near the top of the list of special considerations. For persons of color and other protected classes, racial inequality remains a problem of this generation.


While it may be hard for some to believe, the drive for equality is not over. We have not yet achieved our goals. Our efforts to stand tall, be who we are, and participate in society at all levels, requires the help of well-informed political leaders and a forward-thinking Supreme Court.


When I take a reflective look back at my life, I am grateful for affirmative action policies and guidelines in effect since the 1960s. In my career and those of extended family members, it’s clear that we owe part of our success to the numbers game. Being a statistic meant that I had an opportunity to be selected. I knew that I could compete if there was a level playing field.

What some folks fail to realize is that being selected meant that I was often the only person of color in a room. The only person of color on a Board. The only person of color in a policy meeting. The pressure to perform, to represent a race, to represent and uphold values that I learned as a child, coupled with a perceived need to validate someone’s decision to “bring me in”, made life extremely complex and difficult.


Frankly, I don’t know how to make things right for those who feel discriminated against. I start feeling numb when I consider the opportunities that my extremely bright great-nieces and great-nephews will miss if society fails to learn from its past.

 
 
 

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